Motivation – the Train that Never Arrives

“We always have time for the things we need to do,
But never enough time for the things we ought to do.”

I have been waiting for the right motivation all my life. I have created many stories and characters in my head.  I’ve been dreaming of the day when I would finally finish my masterpiece. Then it hit me: Will I ever get it done? Where is my Motivation? 

Thinking is not doing. I know this. The above quote is from a friend and mentor who warned me about this nearly forty years ago. Still, it has taken me a very long time to truly understand what he was trying to express to me.

Why does motivation arrive for what I need to do and not for what I ought to do? It’s because writing, with the aim of publishing, is a risky business and the survival instinct in humans is all about reducing risks. Do I want to stand out from the crowd? Sure, I do. But, only in theory. Just thinking about how it will open myself up to public criticism makes me want to stay in bed all day safely hidden under the blankets.

This fear of risk-taking is the same reason why so few people do anything out of the ordinary. They fear starting their own businesses or speaking in public. It’s so much easier to simply keep our heads down and do the things people expect me to do. Mowing the lawn or washing the dishes may not be pleasant things, but they are familiar things to do, comfortable things. But when I up my pen – ink or digital – to begin something new that fear begins well up in my chest. To make it go away, I begin to look for the things I “need to do.” The fear subsides, but the desire to write continues to gnaw away in my heart and mind.

Motivation is never going to arrive. At age 61, I know that now. I must push on without it.

I wonder will it get easier? Will obscurity be my future? If so, I am afraid of nothing. Will fame cure that fear? Doubtful. Most famous people say celebrity status only made all their insecurities worse. What if the worse happens and I’m humiliated? Well, I’m old enough to have been there already – so what am I really afraid of? I think it’s a phantom fear and that’s how I must think about it to continue on.

How will I do it? I have thought about it a lot these past few months. And now when I start to recognize that terrible, debilitating fear of the risk welling up, I try to take courage and push that fear away.  I must concentrate on what I want to write. I must dare to make time for my art and do it regularly. Lastly, I remind myself: I need to do what I ought to do.

AFNA: Today’s ZenTangle: Defying Gravity

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I’ve had a bear of a work schedule (The Day Job) this week.  So, here’s a cheerful doodle encouragement for today.

I’ve been calling this category of posts “Art for Non Artists”, but I hope you all know I believe everyone has some artistic talent. Many people give up on art because they either don’t have confidence or don’t know where to start. Art does take time, practice and encouragement but everyone can produce charming and colorful pictures with a little instruction.

On that note, one of the fun things about creating doodles is that gravity and other rules of nature need not apply. So, don’t worry if you can’t figure out perspective and light sources and shading for now. Think of yourself as a child starting out. Children are fearless in their drawings. If you want to put a sun at the bottom of your drawing – do it!

In this doodle I turned a zen doodle called Printemps into a sun. Then I added a bunch of squiggly lines and dots. After that, I ran it through Photoshop and added this lovely color gradient. I think it works. Why? I have no idea. I suspect experimentation is at the heart of art as much as practice.

Notice the partitions or segments of patterns inside the larger wavy rectangle. ZenTanglers call these partions “strings.” They are simply random lines inside your rectangle frame which you draw and then decide what doodle patterns you want. There are no rules. Sometimes the patterns you choose work into something interesting, sometimes not. That’s what practice teaches you – what works and what doesn’t. Don’t be afraid to “fail.” Don’t like what you made? Get a fresh sheet of paper or new digital page and start again.

Remember everyone has a right to doodle.  Be childlike. 🙂

 

For more information on what a ZenTangle is, go HERE.

For more on posts on Art for Non Artists, go HERE.

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